Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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