It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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