I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He kissed a someone with a penis
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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