phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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