let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
