so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
