Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You've changed since you got that strap on
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
