Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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