Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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