He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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