Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
