No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
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Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Can I color on your dick again?
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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