I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
