? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
