Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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