watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
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