we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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