You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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