susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
