ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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