I skipped work to stalk him.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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