i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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