dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
