I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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