Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Drunk is not a location!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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