Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
