So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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