We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
