saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
