me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
