Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize