eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
