i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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