We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
