Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
