dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
