We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
