if only i could text you this smell
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
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I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
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PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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