9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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