I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
