No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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