come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
