but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
