Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
