He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
