PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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