meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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