WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
