totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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