Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Apparently you make a good broom.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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