I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
