I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
