that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
