it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
