dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
