i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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