my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
