Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
