I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
