Sry I called you an 8
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
