i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
