At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
