Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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