im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
