My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
