I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
