I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
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Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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