"it" just moved
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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